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Meet your new student satirists

Views 50 | Time to read: 3 minutes | Uploaded: 9 - 12 - 2018 | By: Nina Fox


It is a great honor and privilege to serve as your Capstone editor for my second year. If you’re a freshman and don’t know what I’m talking about, or you’re anyone else and you’re guilty of letting The Horizon disintegrate into the carpet in front of your door every week, let me explain a little bit what purpose this section serves. The Capstone is a dedicated, reputable, earnest, and revered institution of this campus that provides news, information, and advice of the highest caliber. I’ve chosen to hire three staff writers to help me fulfill my vision of leading a community into comedic literacy, and they’ve been through an intense and thorough series of trials and tribulations to get to this point. I’m excited for you all to get to know them.

Here's what you should know about us.

NINA FOX
H: What year are you?

N: Senior!

H: Major?

N: Theater Arts with a minor in Sociology.

H: Favorite bathroom on campus?

N: Kerrwood. It makes me feel like a princess.

H: Zodiac sign?

N: Virgo (with leo cusp!)

H: What makes you smile?

N: How many people are intimidated by non-passive women at this college.

H: Westmont Wow?

N: Gayle Beebe, obviously.

H: Is the NRA a terrorist organization?

N: Jeez, you said it not me.

H: Role model?

H: Gayle Beebe again.

EMILY HERBST
H: What year are you?

E: Sophomore.

H: Major?

E: Biology and Spanish.

H: Zodiac sign?

E: Gemini.

H: What makes you smile?

E: Guy Fieri.

H: Favorite bathroom on campus?

E:Carrol Hall, no doubt. The fact that this bathroom was last renovated in 1923 gives it a lovely rustic charm.

H: What church do you go to?

E: Breakfast Culture Club.

H: Favorite food?

E: Gluten-free communion wafers.

H: Favorite Body Part?

E: Big toe (left).

TALIA SCHUYLER
H: What year are you?

T: Fourth year.

H: Major?

T: English and Spanish Double Major.

H: Who’s your celebrity look-a-like?

T: Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson.

H: What makes you smile?

T: Embarrassing myself in public, animals, making friends, and memes.

H: Favorite bathroom on campus?

T: My bathroom! I have no roommate and I live in the GLC, so no one’s bare feet are touching that shower floor but mine.

H: Why should I hire you?

T: I think I would be a great fit for this position because I’m talented, hard-working, and my Uncle Steve owns half of this company.

H: One phrase to sum up this school year?

T: Shoot for the stars, if you miss you will still have amassed a large sum of debt.

MERCKX DASCOMB
H: What year are you?

M: I’m a fourth year.

H: Major?

M: I’m a theatre major with a minor in getting regularly injured.

H: Zodiac Sign?

M: I’m a Leo sun Virgo moon and a little dipper, I’m not sure which one.

H: What makes you smile?

M: 10/10 times, I really like it when good things happen to my friends.

H: Topics you’re excited to bring into the public eye?

M: If you’re literally anyone you need to be moisturizing more!

H: Favorite bathroom on campus?

M: None, who’s asking, I save it up for when I’m back home, okay?

H: If you could body switch with someone?

M: His holy cuteness, the 266th Pope, Pope Francis.


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