What to do if you're not from Southern California

Views 3 | Time to read: 2 minutes | Uploaded: 11 - 7 - 2018 | By: Emily Herbst


So you’re not from Ventura County. You must be feeling very out of place. As a Northern Californian (or “Bay Bae”), I have also experienced those very same moments of “Why are my hands dry and peeling? Never have I ever had a nosebleed until I entered this moistureless land,” “Why do the beaches look like sandy parking lots?” and the ever-present “Why is everybody dressed for a seaside wedding at all times?” Although you may never have seen a VONS or Blenders in your life, I am here to encourage you that you will soon grow to know and even embrace these SoCal quirks--at least, until you return home for Thanksgiving saying “My flight attendant was so rad, Mom!” and realize you have become One Of Them, and you haven’t seen freshwater in months. Don’t worry too much about fitting in, as every two people in your dorm will be from Orange County and will quickly force on you their ways that are higher than your ways. It will begin like this: “Do you mind if I play The Lumineers?” When you surrender the AUX cord, remember this moment. This is the beginning of the end. A few days will pass, then the inevitable “Can I borrow your car to go surfing?” comes your way. In the ocean?, you think, but figure you might as well tag along, and BAM! within the next week you own a 9-foot longboard that takes up ¾ of your dorm room floor and you check SurfReport obsessively. The week after that, you look in your closet and everything you own can be deemed Business Casual. This is not a bad thing. Embrace it. There’s a reason the population down here is so darn high: Southern Californians know how to live the good life. Just never forget about the sweet comfort a beanie brings in the dark winter months--you’ll have to go home eventually...


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