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Vladimir Putin: second most interesting man in the world

Views 2 | Time to read: 1 minutes | Uploaded: 11 - 7 - 2018 | By: Emily Herbst


You’ve heard his name in the news. You’ve seen his overly handsome face on TV. He’s a household name in America—but do you really know him? After a few minutes of targeted and in-depth research, the Capstone has uncovered the most interesting and little-known facts about the force of nature that is Vladimir Putin.
Now, our co-President Vladdy boy hasn’t always been the bundle of fun he is today (assuming we all know about his politi--excuse me, practical jokes). As an undergrad, the already-balding Vladimir studied law (so fun!). When he graduated, he was not overcome with excitement about the bar exam (contrary to popular belief), but decided to join the downright frivolous club known commonly as the “KGB.” Seriously, this group of people is ridiculously rowdy. It’s like fight club! (Or am I not supposed to talk about that?) Now, how did Pretty-Boy Putin get involved in “KGB,” you ask? Turns out he’s been getting down and dirty with Sambo and Judo since he was a kid. Kind of dope, IMHO. From there, blah blah blah Putin is voted into being Prime Minister and the President resigns and now Putin is President. He jumped right into upholding oligarchy by signing a decree that prevents investigation of the crimes of Russian politicians everywhere (whoo!). He has been re-elected twice (one of these elections including “perceived irregularities”), launched projects to improve Russia's health care, education, housing and agriculture, and deeeessstrrrooooyyyyeeeddd media freedom. I think he poops propaganda, but I am also doing that right now. Can’t wait to see who hacks the upcoming midterm elections!! (“Putin Lives In a World Without Rules,” Bloomberg reports) Vote, damn it.


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