Top 5 Grammy Moments

Views 70 | Time to read: 4 minutes | Uploaded: 2 - 4 - 2014 | By: Blake Harper

Many students at Westmont have been forced into a state of shame as they slowly realize they are the only ones in their group that missed the biggest night in music: The Grammys.

Most are now feeling out of place as their friends endlessly discuss Macklemore & Ryan Lewis beating out Kendrick Lamar and Kanye for “Best Rap Album,” suggesting it might be a sign of the apocalypse. Many are wishing they could offer up an opinion of their own on whether or not LL Cool J needs to stop hosting the show immediately (seriously, when is the last time that dude made music?).

Well fear not wonderful readers, as I, your humble editor, will now offer anyone the perfect way to fool their peers into thinking that they are the coolest kid around. So, without any further ado, here are the top five Grammy moments someone should reference if they didn’t watch the Grammys but want to pretend like they did (cause we all do stuff like this, right?):

1. Beyonce and Jay Z once again prove they win at life: This one is easy, as everyone in the world knows that Beyonce officially secured the title of “Best human not named Jesus” a long time ago. And on top of that, she is married to the man who proves that swag truly is a superpower. The best part about talking about this couple is actually saying anything about them is completely unnecessary. Simply say both of their names, and the more talkative members of the group will take care of the rest. In case anyone does want to know, they performed “Drunk in Love.” And it was awesome.

2. Thirty-three marriages were performed live on television while Macklemore performed his smash hit “Same Love”: another huge moment was when Queen Latifah walked out during Macklemore’s performance and announced that 33 couples would be officially married on national televsion. The newlyweds included gay, straight and lesbian couples, which followed the message of Macklemore’s support of marriage equality in the song “Same Love.” I am not telling anyone how to feel about the moment, but it is certainly a moment people will be talking about for a long time.

3. Kacey Musgraves >>>>> Taylor Swift: For anyone looking to be a little bit of a music snob, this is the moment for you. Talk excessively about how amazing Musgraves’ performance was, and how she proved once and for all she is the new female powerhouse of country music. Then lament about how real country music is dead while your friends pretend to know what you are talking about and simultaneously beginning to resent you.

4. Macklemore did not deserve “Best Rap Album”: even Macklemore admitted he didn’t deserve it. The dude actually admitted he did not deserve to win this award. He seems like a very cool dude, but he was up against the two best rappers around. In your discussion, get mad, but insist it is a righteous anger. Then argue that either Kendrick or Kanye were robbed, either argument can be made successfully.

5. Award shows are all politics anyway: this is the most important part. After spending 15 to 20 minutes forcing the people sitting at dinner with you to listen to you go on and on about the Grammys, suddenly bring in the point that the Grammys are worthless. Point out previous travesties, such as the fact that the Beatles never won “Album of the Year” and that “Best New Artist” is consistently someone who released their debut album over ten years ago. True, it’s not technically a moment from this year’s Grammys, but it is the pretentious cherry on top.


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