Many readers of the Capstone may be new to trick-or-treating in Santa Barbara, whether they be freshmen, transfers, or simply people who were too boring to go in previous years. Whatever situation you are in, read this advice from upperclassmen and experienced trick-or-treaters so that everyone can have the best 2020 Halloween experience.
When you go trick-or-treating, remember to go alone and avoid eye contact with everyone you meet. You do not want to give away which houses are the best.
Make sure to stop by the Hunters’ house! A student we spoke to claims that “getting to solve math problems for candy at the Hunters’ house is always fun.” (Another student told us that this activity made them realize how much of their high school math they had forgotten, prompting them to switch from their RS major to a math major so they would never forget again)
In addition to advice, others warned that if you want to trick-or-treat at Oprah’s house, don’t bother. Disappointingly, they plan to give out iPhone Xs instead of iPhone 12s this year.
One of the best houses to visit is Ellen DeGeneres’s house, as everyone knows, she is the nicest, least problematic celebrity in Montecito.
A house that could be hit or miss is Megan Markle and Prince Harry’s home, as this is their first Halloween in the area. They might establish themselves as the best house in the block, or they might give out dreadful British candy.
Don’t be afraid to pester homes that have their lights off and no decorations. These are actually good houses in disguise, and all you have to do is convince the family inside to give you their king-sized candy bars.
Keep an eye out for “BEWARE OF DOG” signs. These mean that if you feed the dog on their property some of your chocolate, showing that you are a generous soul, that house will give you the best candy they have. Don’t be afraid, even if a raging beefy Rottweiler tries to leap through the gate to gnaw your face off — it just wants some of your chocolate.
If you see a black cat lounging in the street, you can give it some of your chocolate as well, and it will lead you to a hidden stash of candy that is yours for the taking. Make sure to give the cat another piece of chocolate from the stash as an offering, or else it might turn on you.
As always, make sure to have lots of fun this Halloween and get the most candy possible, no matter how far you have to walk or how annoying you have to be. It’ll be worth it in the end!