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So, I’m here at home with the fam and we are setting up for a wild Thanksgiving. Since we have to socially distance, for obvious reasons, we have moved all the tables outside on the back lawn and, as you can see, we bought more folding tables to make sure only one person sits at each table. Now, come closer so she can’t hear: normally Aunt Cathy isn’t invited to Thanksgiving, since she spits so much when she talks and chews with her mouth open, but this year, we just stuck her by herself at the dining table inside that we normally all share. Hopefully, that’ll give her enough space.
Isn’t it amazing how the holidays just bring us all together?
Now, look over here and you can see the three turkeys we’re preparing: one is in the oven, one is in an air fryer, and the third is being cooked very slowly with a blowtorch.
We need three turkeys because we have three households here, ensuring one turkey for each family to minimize contamination. In fact, there are three separate versions of every Thanksgiving dish: three stuffings, three pots of mashed potatoes, three dishes of candied yams, and three gravy boats.
Yeah, I can’t fit in the kitchen right now with all the food and cooking going on. Practically every person with two hands is in there helping with the food! Isn’t it crazy!?
Anyway, there seems to be some kind of issue with the seating arrangements. No one is sure which tables are supposed to be for which families, so people just started sitting wherever, but the thing is, once you sit somewhere, that seat is possibly contaminated, so you can’t move!
Oh well, I guess we’ll just sit by my cousin Hailey at the main table since it has the best chairs.
There’s my uncle Ben on the other end of the table; do you see his cool shades? He just had eye surgery and can’t see right now. It’s probably a good thing since he has unknowingly seated himself right across from Aunt Cathy; maybe he won’t eat the spittle in his food?
Well, everyone is coming to sit down now. It looks like there is way too much food and most of it will probably be put on all the other empty tables around us. At least the cooking crew looks like they had fun. Everyone is joking and laughing and generally having a good time — normally there’s some sort of political dispute or drama splitting the family up by this point.
Anyway, I’ve gotta go, I hope you all have the best socially-distanced Thanksgiving ever! Don’t forget to like and subscribe, and comment below how your family handled the new guidelines for a safe Thanksgiving holiday!