As you may be aware, an email regarding next year’s dorm room requests was sent out recently. For returning students, this year’s survey may look a bit different from what you remember — in fact, the questions have all been pulled from the Buzzfeed quiz “What is your Enneagram type based on your favorite midnight snacks?” Once you have figured out your Enneagram type using this reliable test, you will be assigned to the dorm that best fits your personality.
Type 7s and 2s. Only type 7s can thrive in the insane energy that is Page. The other type assigned to this dorm, 2s, are necessary to maintain balance and ensure type 7s recover from their all-nighter parties (and to keep them from trying to make a slide that goes down all three floors of the building.)
Those who test as type 9s and type 6s will be sent to Clark. Their passive and flexible nature make type 9s perfect for navigating the maze of the the Clark buildings without getting too upset. Type 6s will find the peaceful security they desire because no one could find their dorm if they tried.
Armington is for none other than type 4s. Type 4s have a strong creative streak, so all those music majors with this type will be assigned to Armington. No one else goes near the music buildings and they’re the only ones able to stand the random music from the classes and choir rehearsals in the outdoor tents. Plus, the lingering asbestos will give their instruments a unique, memorable sound.
The new home for all type 3s and type 8s. Type 3s are the only type with enough drive to actually make it to the oh-so-coveted dorm. On the other hand, our housing department does not have the courage to say ‘no’ to a type 8, so they will get their spots in the best dorm on campus.
Now, for the dorm filled with GLC rejects, we have the type 1s and type 5s. Type 1s wish they were type 3s, but are too scared of failure to be as ambitious. Type 5s are the first-years with enough credits to graduate early, or the triple, even quadruple, majors that the housing department really just felt bad for and assigned to VK out of pity.
So, there you go! Make sure to take your housing Enneagram quiz soon to find out where you will be living next semester.
<edit> It turns out, Emerson Dorm was accidentally left out of this list, so anyone who doesn’t believe in personality tests like this, or who is perfectly in the middle between two different types, will be put into Emerson.