The horrors of post–grad life

The+true+business+casual+found+in+Westmont+graduates.

Ella Jennings

The true business casual found in Westmont graduates.

Grace Redford, Staff Writer

Now that the new school year has kicked off, thoughts often turn to the new faces of the freshman class. An often neglected demographic, however, is the fresh-faced group of alumni entering the workforce. The Capstone reached out to Westmont’s class of 2022 to hear about their adjustments to post-grad life. 

The results? Well, it’s not pretty. Alumni who’ve spent years soaking up the sun in Santa Barbara are horrified to find that not every city is a carefree, relaxed beach town. Now, many recent Westmont grads starting their first “real jobs” are finding themselves flabbergasted at professional dress codes, formal office lingo and the severe lack of surfboards. 

Gone are the days when students could come rolling up to class on skateboards, decked out in Hawaiian shirts, headphones around their necks, and slouch into the nearest seat. Now, there is no more chowing down on bagels during lectures or walking around barefoot in the classroom.

“Baseball caps and beanies don’t cut it anymore,” one anonymous alum tearfully recounted. “Now, I have to wake up early to, like, style my hair. Who does that?”

“Apparently, emojis aren’t a sufficient method of communication,” another graduate begrudgingly explained, “and texts are ‘too informal,’ or something. I have to, like, call. On a landline. Can you believe it?”

Another alum complained, “No one here fistbumps. It’s handshakes, handshakes, handshakes. And worse–I have to call people “Sir” and “Ma’am.” No more “Hey, bro” or “Sup, Dudette.”

Others report having a difficult time saying goodbye to the beach. “I’m not even allowed to hang my wetsuit up in my office,” a graduate now working in Nebraska recounted. “There’s no surfboard rack in the lobby, and no one can tell me where all the palm trees went!”

After hearing these reports, current Westmont students are expressing worries about their future: “What do you mean I won’t be able to wear flip flops and a hoodie to work?” one anonymous student complained, “and what in the world is dry cleaning?” 

Others report questioning their career choices. One student expressed, “I don’t know if I want to follow my passions if it means giving up sweatpants five days a week.” However, other students say this information has inspired them to take an entrepreneurial route. “If I can’t work in an accounting office that lets me wear bunny slippers to work,” one math major said, “then I’ll just have to open my own firm. There’s no other option.”

Graduates who took part in this survey ask for prayer and support as they navigate these appalling new conditions.

Don't miss out!
Subscribe To The Horizon Newsletter

Sign up to receive weekly highlights of our favorite articles from News, Sports, Arts & Entertainment and more! 

 

Invalid email address
You can unsubscribe at any time.