Westmont ghostbusters

Rare+image+of+actual+ghosts+pestering+students+walking+out+of+chapel+early.

Ella Jennings

Rare image of actual ghosts pestering students walking out of chapel early.

Ian Lowry, Staff Writer

As we move through the spookiest month in the year, many instances of the supernatural have been reported across the campus. Ghosts, werewolves and vampires have been running amok and scaring the living daylight out of students and faculty alike. But luckily, the Westmont Creator’s Club has come up with a new way of dealing with the supernatural: successfully recreating the proton pack from Ghostbusters.

“Well, there was something strange going on in our neighborhood and we simply didn’t have the money to get the real ghostbusters out here from New York, so we just made our own ghostbuster crew here on campus,” Pete Wenkman, the face of the group, told us. “And so far, we’ve been very successful in cleaning up the supernatural around campus.”

The group consisting of Pete Wenkman, Rey Stands, Edger Spangled and Weston Ceddarmore are all engineering students here at Westmont and are not to be confused with actual ghostbusters Peter Venkman, Ray Stantz, Egon Spangler and Winston Zeddemore. 

“I thought they were absolute jokes walking around with those ridiculous looking backpacks. But then when that ghost appeared during my New Testament class, they came in and really saved the day,” one student reported. “And by that I mean they tore up the classroom trying to catch the ghost and they had to cancel class. Now I get another day to study for midterms.” 

“They really saved my sanity the other day. My roommates have been watching the ENTIRE ‘Twilight’ series and I couldn’t stand another love triangle between a werewolf and vampire,” another student told us. “I called the ghostbusters under the pretense that something strange was going on by people enjoying ‘Twilight.’ So they came and stole my roommate’s laptop so they couldn’t watch the movies anymore. I’m glad they’re so good at getting rid of the supernatural.”

However, not everyone is pleased with their presence on campus. A major uproar about their practices has been surfacing after an incident at last week’s chapel.

“They tried … to suck up … the Holy Ghost … ” Scott Lisea cried during his sermon at chapel. “I said ‘Receive the Holy Ghost!’ and these four hooligans busted through the door saying, and I quote, ‘We’ll take care of that ghost for you!’ It didn’t work of course, the Holy Spirit’s too powerful. I just can’t believe they tried it in the first place.”

Pete told us later, “Okay, that was a slip up on our part. We heard ‘Ghost!’ and leapt into action. I’m glad He’s a forgiving God because I thought he was about to flood our campus for 40 days and 40 nights for that. But we won’t make that mistake again! In fact, I’m needed right now, for there are reports that there is a giant marshmallow man being made in Winter Hall.”

Whether these Westmont ghostbusters are a blessing or a curse upon this campus, the last thing they told us before they left to deal with the giant marshmallow man was, “If there is something strange in your dorm hall, who you gonna call?” Our response: “The actual ghostbusters because these are college students and shouldn’t be trusted with high tech ghost catching equipment.” 

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