Control-less: a poem by Josh Bencker

Josh Bencker, Guest Poet

Days come and days go

What it was to be in flow

In the same room, with the same cues

Hear the same rules, but with different news

A lack of knowing.

 

Follow a map in constant change

Deranged haze on a slower pace

Don’t worry, it will be ok

While grandma’s counting down the days;

 

Some fear while others rest,

Do I feel tightness in my chest?

I know right now I trust in God

Come May, still need a job

 

Hm.

 

Perhaps between the lapses and gaps a reaction will enact a crack

in my lack of happening,

But it’s like I feel nothing these days.

Problems fade away, or eat away

In the silence, they get louder

Just stay busy! Take their power

Kill the doubts with shallow hope

Smoke and mirrors, drink and toke

Clawing and gnawing like boredom existed

A creature that lives, seems so persistent

NO. A lack.

 

Darkness the absence of light

Evil the absence of Christ

Feed into my absence

I need to feel passion

At the least, maybe feel alright.