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What your Ritchie’s drink says about you
September 28, 2021
What does your drink of choice from Ritchie’s Place say about you? *sips tea*
Down by the Global Leadership Center there’s a little Starbucks-meets-junk-food-store where you can grab a tall coffee, order a small pizza, or use your $70 in Flex Dollars to buy 23 bags of potato chips. Whether you’re sitting down with a friend or grabbing a cup between classes, your favorite drink order can say a lot about your personality. What does yours say about you?
- Earl Grey tea, steeped for exactly two minutes and 13 seconds: English was your favorite subject in grade school. Now you’re a strong, independent college student who just added a minor and changed their major. Again.
- Java chip frappuccino with extra whipped cream: This drink is perfect for the five-year-old at heart who still wants to look cool carrying Starbucks into class. I see you holding back that temper tantrum. It’s okay, same here.
- Black coffee, darker than Winter Hall after midnight: You’re planning to graduate in two-and-a-half years. You’re secretly planning to overthrow Dr. Gayle Beebe himself. You know exactly what causes the smell on the bridge behind the DC.
- Cup-of-noodles broth: You like sleeping on the couch more than in your own bed. Thank God for your friend who has let you mooch off their Netflix account for the past year!
- Ketchup: Red, like the blood of your enemies. You write off-kilter poetry while listening to heavy metal rock music.
- Coffee creamer: You didn’t even get it from Ritchie’s. You took it from the nearest Denny’s. Give it back.
- Grande brown sugar and cinnamon shaken espresso with oat milk: You’re a self-aware micromanager. I see that drawer full of notecards and highlighters in RoyGBiv order. Keep repeating those mantras! You’re almost done with the 17th item on your to-do list!
- Bagel: … dude, really??
- Monster energy drink: Hey, you have friends. We want to hold an intervention. Please let us help. Red Bull is so much better.
- Red Bull energy drink: Hey, you have friends. We want to hold an intervention for you. Please let us help. Monster is so much better.
- Organic Brew Dr. “Clear Mind” Kombucha: Your sense of style is beloved by everyone except people without taste. Who needs their approval anyway? Certainly not you, who switches between absurd confidence and crippling self-depreciation on a daily basis.
- Room temperature water: You’re actually Henri Nowen, Pastor Scott’s dog. Who’s a good boy?!
Don’t forget to subscribe, and comment down below what your favorite Ritchie’s beverage is!