The earth may not be flat, but campus soon will be

The+Boards+proposed+plan+for+leveling+Westmonts+campus.

Ella Jennings, The Horizon

The Board’s proposed plan for leveling Westmont’s campus.

Joey Veurink, Staff Writer

The sob stories about Westmont’s steep walkways and sidewalks are nothing new around campus, but complaining doesn’t change the fact that you still have to walk up and down every day for class. A source close to a member of The Board says this may not be the case for much longer. “The Board is looking into a project to completely level the entirety of Westmont’s campus.”

While an exciting prospect, some are concerned with the price tag of the potential operation. The project’s first hurdle is the 22,385,000 estimated cubic yards of dirt and rock that must be moved. The leftover dirt and rock will fill Butterfly Beach since, according to Board consensus, no one would notice it. When asked about the eye-popping amount of dirt in the way, President Gayle Beebe had this to say: “Faith can move mountains.”

The larger problem at hand is the cost of the whole operation. Initially, clearing the land and flattening it afterwards would cost Westmont approximately $11,766,000. However, when it comes to actually moving the dirt, the cost rises slightly. The 22,385,000 cubic yards would cost $145,502,500 to transport, not to mention the small labor fee of $72,751,250. This price may seem exorbitant, but the Westmont Board seems to think otherwise. 

“I think students will be willing to sacrifice,” says one member of The Board, “I’m sure they’ll be happy to take on a little extra tuition in order to make this campus a better place.” When asked about the enormous costs, President Beebe had this to say: “Tuitions can move mountains.”

Some students are, unsurprisingly, skeptical. One third-year business major isn’t sure it’s worth the cost. “Yeah, it sucks to climb up the hill in the morning, but I’m just not convinced it’s worth a 175% increase to an already high tuition.” The tuition cost increase is steep and the project will cause students to relocate for an entire year, but Board members have created a plan they are sure will leave the student body happy.

Their proposed plan has Westmont operating out of a closed Sears in Goleta, with the dorms located exclusively in the Goleta Motel 6. The Board was very excited about its ability to negotiate the use of the swimming pool, yet were not available for comment when asked why they were unable to obtain continental breakfast for the students. Students will be four to a room for the foreseeable future.

“We think this action plan works for everybody,” was the resounding theme of a press release from the board just one day after the initial announcement. In light of all the controversy, the board will have an emergency meeting about the decision this following week. Updates will be given when new information is available.

Don't miss out!
Subscribe To The Horizon Newsletter

Sign up to receive weekly highlights of our favorite articles from News, Sports, Arts & Entertainment and more! 

 

Invalid email address
You can unsubscribe at any time.